AN OBITUARY OF A POLITICAL CAREER

My kids once asked me which kind of books or movies I like. I said, the ones in which there are no heroes or villains. They asked in surprise, why? I replied, because in real life there are no heroes or villains, only human beings, who can be sometimes heroes, and sometimes villains, depending on the situation.

Today I mourn the sad demise of the political career of a long-term acquaintance, an almost-friend. I met him both in my personal capacity and in one of my previous work roles, many many times. He was always courteous to the core. I remember that when my mother's visa application was rejected even though she had already visited NZ once and gone back within the timeframe, I contacted his office and the visa situation was very quickly resolved. 

I remember that when we got our citizenship, even though we now lived in an area for which he wasn't the MP, and yet somehow he find out about it and wrote to us that even though he wasn't our MP, we were always welcome to contact him if we ever needed any help. 

I remember that even after he became a government minister, he always replied to my emails personally, even though I would already have received a formal email from his staff. 

And I especially remember the nicest of emails I received from him after the ChCh mosque attacks. And will always remember that a few weeks later when I sent him an email, even though his staff had sent me an official reply, a few days later he personally wrote to me, though I can imagine how busy he must have been in the immediate aftermath of that crisis being a senior government minister.

I am also very angry with him. There are good reasons why relationships are prohibited or are frowned upon between doctors and patients, students and teachers, bosses and employees, etc. It is because these are unequal relationships. In these relationships, there is an inherent imbalance of power. One party holds sway over another, and even if both are adults and consenting, there is always lingering doubt whether the person with lesser power would have made the same situation if they had equal power. 

And I feel very sorry for his family. It would have been traumatic for any family to find out such a news about their husband, their father, but to hear the PM of a country announce it on live TV, one can hardly imagine the distress it would have caused them. What happened is a loss for the country, but I doubt anyone's loss can be as great as that of his family.