A BEGINNER'S GUIDE TO PRACTICING RELIGION - PART 6

HOW TO CONTROL A LOOSE TONGUE

Most of us, if not all of us, can probably think of at least some occasions in our life when we have said harsh and unpleasant things to others, told a lie, said bad things about people behind their back, shared things with others which were told to us in private, talked back to our elders, hurt other people's feelings, etc. Reflecting upon my own life, misuse, or rather abuse, of my tongue has most likely contributed to the greatest proportion of sins that I have ever committed. But how to stop one's tongue from being so out of control?

Wise elders have said that the best way to stop oneself from committing sins of the tongue is to pause for a few moments before saying anything. This gives us time to reflect on whether what we are going to say is going to violate another person's rights. In reality, for a beginner it takes a Herculean effort to make this practice one's second nature, especially when one is angry or upset. 

Being the weak Muslim that I have always been, I found a less arduous way of slowly developing this habit. What I tried was that if I couldn't stop and reflect BEFORE I said anything, I started trying to reflect on what I had said AFTER I had said it. If I had said something hurtful, I would say Istighfar (asking for forgiveness from Allah Ta'ala) and vow never to do it again. If required, I will go and apologise to the person whose rights I had violated. When one keeps doing this over a period of time, eventually one starts to develop the habit of reflecting on what they are about to say, before they say it. 

to be continued...