A BEGINNER'S GUIDE TO PRACTICING RELIGION - PART 7

 THE BEST JUDGE OF CHARACTER


Hazrat Thanvi RE used to say that “the best judge of whether a person is a good human being or not, is his wife. If a wife confirms it, only then we should believe that that person has become a better human being as a result of going through the process of Tazkiyah (purification of inner self)”. On another occasion, Hazrat Thanvi had said that if you really want to know what a person’s true character is like, ask their wife and their household servant (who still exist in some countries).

The philosophy behind these statements is that we all show our true colours, when we are with people we feel we don’t HAVE to be nice with. Then we are who we really are. And that is why for people on the path of self-improvement, it is one of the first steps to critically evaluate how we treat people who are nearest and dearest to us; our parents, our siblings, our spouses, our children. If we are polite and gentle with them all the time, or at least most of the time, then we have a right to believe that we are truly polite and gentle people. Otherwise, it is just a mask we put on when we leave the privacy of our homes.

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